Hawaiian Restaurant Offers Free Lay With Every Dessert

by on 13/10/18 at 3:37 pm

Waitress Kerry John recalls that for several days  last week when the special ran guys kept rubbing her ass asking  for the Special-of-the-Day.'

Waitress Kerry John recalls that for several days last week when the special ran guys kept rubbing her ass asking for the Special-of-the-Day.’

Boing, HI – (satireworld.com)

A typo is causing major problems for a Honolulu restaurant.  Keola’s Roast Pig is having problems honoring their offer of “a free lay with every dessert” as it was supposed to “a free leia (or lei) with every dessert.”  Restaurant owner Keola Paccuci is blaming the error on spellcheck, which does not recognize the Hawaiian floral necklace under either spelling.

The hostess and waitresses at the restaurant have endured catcalls, pinching, grabbing, and various inappropriate comments and notes since the error hit newspapers yesterday.  Several have already quit and busboys and dishwashers are being promoted to servers immediately.  Customers are also threatening lawsuits for false advertising.

The restaurant, less than half a mile from Pearl Harbor High School, is also being swamped with students coming in to take advantage of the offer (and lose their virginity) for the cost of a slice of key lime pie.  The young men, and a few girls, are lining up outside with protest signs announcing “I wanna get laid.”

“I tried going to be grocery store and buying several cases of chips and giving everyone a free bag of Lay’s, but that doesn’t seem to be working and just makes a lot of the customers angry.”

The restaurateur did hit upon another plan.  “I just don’t have enough money to buy up the services of all of the prostitutes on the island at my current prices.  If I charge $200 for a slice of cheesecake or apple pie, however, I think that I should be able to break even… and put a smile on the face of our customers and money in the pockets of a lot of local women.”

The newspaper ad was originally set to run for the entire month and has that date on the bottom of the print ad, so Paccuci will be forced to honor the pricing until then.

Another problem, though not as big, is that Keola wants to know what he is going to do with all of the cases of leia’s he has in his back room and on order.

 



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