National Park Service Confirms-‘Bears Absolutely Do It In The Woods’

by on 31/10/18 at 3:20 pm

US Park Ranger Ricks admitted stupying bear crap habits for almost 25 years and based his report on peer reviewed observations.

US Park Ranger Bud Ricks admitted studying bear crap habits for almost 25 years and based his report on peer reviewed observations.

Overwhelming evidence of bear toilets in inaccessible parts of national forests shows advanced potty habits of wild bruins.

Overwhelming evidence of bear toilets in inaccessible parts of national forests shows advanced potty habits of wild bruins.

Toilet tissue found at one primitive bear facility highlighted the political aspects of bear culture when Rangers found a roll of paper with Obama's photo imprinted on it.

Toilet tissue found at one primitive bear facility highlighted the political aspects of bear culture when Rangers found a roll of paper with Obama’s photo imprinted on it.

Bend, Oregon – (satireworld.com)

Does A Bear Poop In The Woods?

The United States National Park Service officially clarified what was mostly snide jokes and hearsay remarks concerning the bathroom habits of North American bears. Today, Ranger Bud Ricks held a press conference at the Wilds Federal Reserve addressing the pressing issue of where a wild bear actually does his ‘scat’.

According to Ricks, all bears prefer the woods and over centuries have adapted to using natural rocks, trees, and hidden formations to ‘do their business.’
Ricks added that he hopes this clears up any mis-conceptions about personal habits of bears and stops the old corny jokes directed at him countless times every summer by fat kids who live in highly urban areas and think the wilderness is like a Disney movie.

Next year Ricks will release a report dispelling the Bambi movie as nothing more than stupidity in Technicolor.



One Response to “National Park Service Confirms-‘Bears Absolutely Do It In The Woods’”

  1. Jalapenoman

    Oct 31st, 2018

    As far as next year’s report… I personally think that “Bambi Meets Godzilla” is a masterpiece of cinema that should be studied intensively in film schools. The Disney version? Other than Thumper, it’s pretty worthless.

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