Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman

by on 12/11/18 at 8:47 am

Al Gore, the Wizard of Weather, lectures about the dangers of discarded bras in the world's oceans.

Al Gore, the Wizard of Weather, lectures about the dangers of discarded bras in the world’s oceans.

Gore claims his interest in bra technology started hen he was married to Tipper and his 25 year quest to see her tits.

Gore claims his interest in bra technology started hen he was married to Tipper and his 25 year quest to see her tits.

One solution introduced by Gore is the reusable titanium bra which could be recycled into aircraft. Gore reportedly is working on a heating system for the  'Tit-anium Bra' which will prevent woman from being too 'nippley' in public.

One solution introduced by Gore is the reusable titanium bra which could be recycled into aircraft. Gore reportedly is working on a heating system for the ‘Tit-anium Bra’ which will prevent woman from being too ‘nippley’ in public.

Gore's next  environmental challenge will be the effect of dog pants on the Earth's environment.

Gore’s next environmental challenge will be the effect of dog pants on the Earth’s environment.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.

Mr. Gore speculated that based on approximately six billion human beings inhabiting Planet Earth (one half being female) there is the possibility that 75 million tons of discarded Bras can wind up in the oceans.

It is pathetic to see sea birds, turtles and fish trying to eat 36 DD cups and being strangled by Bra straps dumped into the oceans by first and second world counties. This type of pollution needs to be totally mitigated! Sales of Bras to emerging markets in third world countries need to be curtailed!

The former vice president received no support from the audience of Bra manufacturers. Is this another falsie environmental bogeyman created by the Far Left, they wondered?

Former VP Gore also cautioned the world’s women not to burn their Bras because of the Carbon Dioxide (CO2) that would escape into the atmosphere and cause climate change. He also said, “ladies of the world be aggressive, shed your synthetic fiber oil-based fabric blouses and go topless! But not all at once, as upwards of 150 million tons of discarded Bras and blouses could wind up in the oceans!”

Millions of emails supporting toplessness, sent by men, have been received from France (topless protests are common), the USA, the UK, Russia and most first and second world countries!



2 Responses to “Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman”

  1. Jalapenoman

    Nov 12th, 2018

    But I thought Al Gore invented the brassiere?

    • Philbert of Macadamia

      Nov 13th, 2018

      Al Gore doesn’t know the difference between a brazier and a brassiere!

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