Blame Assigned for National Internet Outage

by on 28/12/18 at 8:09 am

Meathead blames it all on his 'dinky'; being too small....

Meathead blames it all on his ‘dinky’ being too small….

Hillary blames it on not having a 'dinky' of her own.

Hillary blames it on not having a ‘dinky’ of her own.

Bill blames it all on his 'dinky' being stuck in all the wrong places.

Bill blames it all on his ‘dinky’ being shoved in all the wrong places.

Chicago, IL – (

The national internet outage that affected several carriers/providers for internet and cell phone service has been blamed on several factors:

  • The Obama Administration continues to blame George W. Bush
  • Hillary Clinton blamed the deplorables
  • Debbie Wasserman Schultz blamed the Republicans
  • Nancy Pelosi blamed Donald Trump
  • Republicans blamed the Clintons
  • The Dallas Cowboys blamed the Washington Redskins
  • Batman blamed the Joker
  • Burger King blamed McDonalds
  • The New York Yankees blamed the Boston Red Sox
  • The Hatfields blamed the McCoys
  • Conspiracy theorists blamed someone in the grassy knoll
  • Christians blamed the Moslem Brotherhood
  • PETA blamed the meat industry
  • Jesse Jackson blamed White Supremacists (who were still trying to hold the black man down)
  • Captain Kirk blamed the Klingons
  • Frank Burns and Hot Lips Houlihan blamed Hawkeye Pierce
  • Sheldon Cooper blamed it on not having enough adhesive ducks in the bathtub
  • Al Sharpton blamed FOX News
  • The Klan blamed the Black Panthers
  • The Jews blamed Moslem Fundamentalists
  • Hulk Hogan blamed Stone Cold Steve Austin
  • Elmer Fudd blamed Bugs Bunny
  • Moonshiners blamed Revenuers
  • Duck Dodgers blamed Marvin the Martian
  • Jerry blamed Tom
  • Mystery Inc. blamed Old Man Murphy (and he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those darned kids!)
  • The Boston Celtics blamed the Los Angeles Lakers
  • Lassie said it was because Timmy fell in the well
  • Luke Skywalker blamed Darth Vader
  • Sergeant Carter blamed Gomer Pyle
  • Dr. Kimball blamed the One Armed Man
  • The Cavalry blamed the Injuns
  • Dorothy Gale blamed the Wicked Witch of the West
  • The Beatles blamed the Big Blue Meanies
  • Patton blamed Rommel
  • Rush Limbaugh blamed the FemiNazis
  • Maxine Waters blamed someone but her words were unintelligible and no one could understand who she said
  • The Protestants in Northern Ireland blamed the Catholics
  • Superman blamed Lex Luthor
  • Underdog blamed Boris Badinov and Natasha Nogoodnik
  • The Brady Bunch blamed The Partridge Family
  • Target blamed Walmart
  • Trump blamed it on Illegal Aliens here because he can’t build his wall
  • Ginger, Maryann, The Professor, The Skipper, and The Howells all blamed Gilligan
  • The Robinson family blamed Dr. Smith
  • Macy’s blamed Gimbel’s
  • Timon and Pumbaa blamed a lack of Hakuna Matata
  • The communists blamed the capitalists
  • Cookie Monster blamed a lack of chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter, oreo, snickerdoodle, and girl scout cookies
  • Jiminy Cricket blamed the lack of a conscience
  • Alec Baldwin blamed his Schweady Balls
  • Dudley Dooright and Sweet Nell blamed Snidely Whiplash
  • Hot dogs blamed hamburgers


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