Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Enemy Rita Repulsa Is Her Mother

by on 09/01/19 at 11:21 am

Wow! What a bonehead this one is.......

Wow! What a bonehead this one is…….

New York City, NY – (

New New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who had already made a name for herself with her wild and outlandish accusations, claims, and actions, has admitted that Rita Repulsa, the sworn enemy of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, is her biological mother  “Like most little girls, my mother is my hero.  I have modeled my life after her and want to do and accomplish everything that she has done.  I want to continue her work.  People say that I look a lot like her when I get emotional, and I consider that to be a great compliment.”

Lord Zedd, another enemy of the Power Rangers, denied that Ocasio-Cortez was his love child.  “I think that Rita really got knocked up by one of those monsters she was always creating and unleashing on the Earth.  The congresswoman looks nothing like me, but does have the attitude and temperament of some of her mother’s henchmen.  I may have sometimes been putty in her arms, but the timing just wasn’t right for me to be the baby daddy.”

Former Pink Ranger Kimberly Hart, currently a pole dancer and escort in Tulsa, said that “she may not be like her mother at all.  Some people can change for the better.  We may have to give her a chance to see if she really and truly tries to help the people in her district.”

Kimberly’s pimp (and former Black Ranger) Tommy Oliver laughed at his employee’s remarks.  “Kimberly is still just good and sweet.  Everyone knows that Alexandria is just another one of Rita’s monsters brought to life.  She has already shown herself to be the next Maxine Waters in Washington with her stupidity and radical views.  Someone needs to look in her office and see if it is full of Puttys.  Those are the kind of staff people I would expect in the office or Rita Repulsa’s kid.”

Ocasio-Cortez said that she plans to represent New York in Congress just like other “great Democratic politicians” like Anthony Weiner.  “He has shown me a lot of support and sent me some really nice texts in support of my campaign.  I’m planning to have a conjugal visit with him as a show of thanks”




4 Responses to “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Admits Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Enemy Rita Repulsa Is Her Mother”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 9th, 2019

    Democrat US House Speaker, senile Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) was caught putting Super Glue in AOC’s toothpaste!

    Nancy said there is only room for one crazy loudmouth in the US House, Me!

  2. Jalapenoman

    Jan 9th, 2019

    Nancy forgets her California crony, Maxine Waters!

    • Philbert of Macadamia

      Jan 9th, 2019

      Nancy tried Kaopectate on Maxine!

      • Jalapenoman

        Jan 9th, 2019

        Maxine has had diarrhea of the mouth for many years. The Kaopectate didn’t work. Maybe if she used Imodium!

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