by Bargis Tryhol on 12/01/11 at 2:34 pm
Tehran, Iran –(SatireWorld.com)
Future suicide bombers around the globe woke up with a jolt today, when they realized they faced a surprising religious announcement from a leading Iranian cleric. No, it wasn’t the sound of their vests exploding, but it was just as startling for them considering the ramifications.
The Super Exclusively Grand Ayatollah in Iran acknowledged that the supposed 72 Virgins waiting in Heaven for any departed suicide bomber who has chosen the path of martyrdom are not always young! He also added with a grimace that they also aren’t always girls.
In a secretly taped conversation, the Super Exclusively Grand Ayatollah confessed why he never took up the mantle of martyrdom. He explained that he knew a very old and closely kept secret.
It was then he revealed the real truth about Heaven and the 72 Virgins, saying it could just be a myth. He also elaborated that some of the Soldiers of Islam that had met their end in martyrdom will have to compromise their sexuality once in Heaven, since there is a surplus of virgin men there as well.
He added with what many say is probably a good compromise, “Maybe the Great Gate Keeper can mix them all up so everyone gets a little of each!”