by Buckwheatsbutt on 13/02/11 at 10:13 amSouth Korea (satireworld.com)
North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il, made a rare appearance on North Korean television by celebrating the New Year off the rocky and mine encrusted Pusan Beach in North Korea. He was wearing his trade mark red Speedo that barely covered his enormous crotch.
Reportedly, the Dear Leader took a 15 mile swim in frigid 38 deg water for almost 17 hours straight.
WORLD CLASS SWIMMER!
Jong Il, long a world-class swimmer, was remembered by loyal supporters as the first human being to swim around the world in 24 hours. A record that still stands in North Korea today, along with dear leader Kim's remarkable task of sinking 11 holes-in-one during his first ever golf outing. Rarely mentioned, is Kim Jong's sexual prowness, where he has fathered over 11,000 male children with one woman!
A COUNTRY OF REMARKABLE FIRSTS
North Korea has many innovative 'firsts' including being the country that uses the least amount of electricity…of having a leader that has gonads reportedly the size of melons…an aresenal of inter-continental ballistic missles hidden in plain cereal boxes…children that can recite the entire Korean encyclopedia from memory…and the first country to place a man on the Moon without the use of a rocket.
Dear leader Kim Jong Il plans other remarkable feats in 2011, such as driving the Daytona 500 completely blindfolded. Capturing Bigfoot entirely by himself using nothing but a rope and a small amount of corn as bait. Finally, directing a movie remake of ‘Gone With The Wind’ North Korean style using citizens as actors and dressing all North Korean Army soldiers as Yankees.