by captain america on 30/03/11 at 3:34 am
French President Nicholas Sarkozy addressing an apathetic crowd estimated at around 350 on prayer rugs at the Eiffel Tower, shouted “We finally won one!” as he announced France was now pulling out of Libya and declaring ‘a glorious victory restoring French Honor!”
Interviewed later, Sarkozy, currently under threat from rising political activist candidates nipping at his heels said, “for the first time in my life I’m finally proud to be French,” a statement strangely reminiscent of current US first lady and fashion icon Michelle Obama after her husband was elected in 2008.
With the Obama administration ceding Libyan intervention to a reluctant NATO, and now France returning home leaving only a slime trail, that leaves Dave Cameron and the bankrupt UK to lead ‘coalition’ forces against Madman Quaddaffy who remains in power sitting on the world’s 12th largest horde of gold bullion and vast oil reserves throwing off mountains of cash.
Reports are coming out of Portugal and Greece of a coalition between those cash starved countries to rush to the aid of Quaddaffy in exchange for lucrative oil leases and cash signing bonuses for supplying armed mercenaries.
Intelligence (sic) provided by the US from Satellite Spy apparatus seems to confirm the report with signs of hundreds of Sponge fisherman leaving the Portuguese port of Lisbon armed with spears, machetes and scuba gear headed for Libya.
Greece also announced hordes of olive pickers have fled the groves in droves and are clamoring to board a flotilla of Turkish freighters anchored in Piraeus pledged to relieve the beleaguered Kaddaffy holed up his Tripoli bunker as part of a ‘humanitarian’ mission which has been labeled by EU officials as ‘ a last ditch effort’ to stave off the collapse of the European Union.
While the tableau unfolds additional reports are coming out of Ireland saying that the country is considering sending a contingent of skilled Contractors to Libya soon after the dust settles in order to facilitate a rebuilding process guaranteeing thousands of jobs and millions of pounds in wages for unemployed Irish craftsmen.
Said Fergus McCarthy a struggling homebuilder, “I’m ready to leave tomorrow….I’ve got a set of luggage I’ve been saving for 20 years just waiting for an opportunity like this!”
Scotland said they had already done their part for Kaddaffy noting their earlier release of the Lockerbie Bomber, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, in exchange for a lucrative oil deal for BP along with valuable arms contracts for Britain. “What more can we offer, ” said a frowning Gordon Brown, former Prime Minister, exiled to the Scottish Moors since his overwhelming defeat in recent elections, “after all, you can’t get blood from a Scone!”
Meanwhile in the US, $1.2m in foreign aid to Kaddaffy continues to flow to the dictator as it turns out Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner forgot to cancel his monthly direct deposit check to the Bank of Dubai.
They’ll be more when we get it, but it won’t be good!