Army Orders First All Homosexual Division Into Battle
by Mr. Numbnutts on 06/04/11 at 9:49 am
Privates Ben and Ken promise to 'leave no man's behind' in the upcoming battle
Kabul, Aghanistan-(SatireWorld.com)
Feeling the political pressure from the liberal White House and members of the Congress who supported the newly authorized role for gays, the US Army has sent the first all homosexual fighting battalion into battle with orders to capture a village in the remote tribal area of Afghanistan.
Called the ‘Fighting Sodomite Division,’ the special division is tasked with failed ordnance, or dud bomb inspections, mine clearing, and bomb disposal operations. They have been assigned to Afganistan since January.
General George Seros, commanding general of the gay brigade, unfurled a banner which read….‘Death From Behind’ as he promised his troops will get to the head of things promptly, “My boys won’t be simply dicking around anymore. This is the real deal”
In January, the Taliban were mortified when over 5,000 infidel fags arrived and set foot in Kabul. First press releases erroneously suggested the gay troopers were quartered in a mosque. The false report so upset Taliban fighters that they began slapping their own heads with each other’s knives, beating themselves with chains until they bled, Finally, enraged suicide bombers started setting off their bomb vests anywhere including inside Taliban headquarters.
Seeing the spectacular results of the The Fighting Sodomite’s first two days in country, General Seros had given the OK to have the boys create a drag club out of the mosque to further infuriate the Taliban.
The target village for the Fighting Sodomites is Creska, a village of 200 people long known as Afghanistan’s Boy’s Town. Troopers from the 2nd platoon have adapted to the rigorous terrain of the Helmand province and have set up a forward post near the quiet town where they play disco music over loudspeakers in order to infuriate any remaining Taliban fighters left in the area.
“The 70′s tune ‘YMCA’ by the Village People seems to work best,” claims Pvt. Kenny Shmultz.
Let’s Hear It!