by Sir Percival Pissgums on 09/04/11 at 6:04 am(SatireWorld.com)
Amanda Knox, who’s spending most of her 20s and probably her 30s in an Italian jail, says prison life is really boring. Sentenced to a prison term that will allow her freedom by the time she enters menopause, Knox claims her days are filled with washing other prisoners clothes, scrubbing toilets, and sending letters to anyone who might help win her freedom.
Knox claims that every Friday the women inmates get a chance to see a variety show put on by male inmates on stage located in the prison’s cafeteria. According to Knox and her cellmate, ex-Nazi prison camp guard Helmuth Myer, Friday nights are the best time of the week.
The usual highlight of the evening’s fare is when inmate 901455, otherwise known as O.J. Simpson, puts on a skit about how he’s still trying to chase down his dead wife Nicole’s killer, The skit usually end with Simpson tap dancing and waving a plastic knife.
Simpson says his life has turned around since being allowed to perform on stage. With only 72 years left on his sentence, Simpson hopes his new found skills as an entertainer will allow him to hit the talk show circuits once he’s released. His recent stand-up comedy routines have caused howls of laughter from both guards and inmates….Shouts of ‘Stop! He’s Killing Me,’ have caused the entire audience to crack up on more than one occasion.
Both Leno and Letterman have expressed a desire to book OJ for a show sometime in 2067, providing they’re both still alive.