by Steely Beast on 02/05/11 at 7:15 am
Thousands of bodies have washed ashore in recent hours as UN teams broadcast over helicopter loudspeakers advising distraught al-Qaeda members not to jump into the sea. A massive surge of al-Qaeda followers took to the waves in search of Osama Bin Laden’s body after a US Navy SEAL team lead by George W. Bush killed the elusive terrorist in a firefight in Islamisbad, Pakistan and dumped his body into the sea.
Religious fervor sparked the mass swim-in as thousands stripped naked and followed each other into the icy waters. Many neglected to remember that they couldn’t swim as they struggled and gasped, finally dropping beneath the waves. Witnesses say that many jumped in fully armed, only to find themselves unable to swim and yet, refusing to lay down their arms.
On shore, others not so faithful, reaped the rewards of thousands of articles of perfectly good clothing, almost new sandals and boots, plus scores of dropped firearms and material.
A US Coast Guard cutter reportedly has been casting 25 lb stones shaped like life preservers to any survivors that made it past the reefs.