Arnold Schwartzenegger, John Edwards, and Bill Clinton Team Up For A ‘Celebrity Family Values’ Tour
by Bargis Tryhol on 18/05/11 at 3:14 pm
Little 'johnny Jones' checks the 'Who's Your Daddy' section of the paper daily. "It's all shit he says."
While taking some time off from his newest action flick ‘The Inseminator-Rise of the Phallus,’ Arnold Schwartzenegger met with John Edwards and compared their lives after each fathered an illigitimate child while married to other woman. Clinton promised to have Jesse Jackson talk with both of them hoping the inspirational chat would lift their spirits.
Fearing a lack of trust after the revelations were made public, Edwards, Clinton and Schwartzenegger made plans to promote a US tour touting ‘Celebrity Family Values’ and ‘marriage fidelity.’ According to Arnold, he had almost 15 years of being a one and only mate to his now estranged wife. Edwards claims he had 25 years of being true, but his wife recently died and cannot dispute the philanderer’s claim. It seems no one blames Clinton for his infidelities.
Dubbed, the ‘Sperminator Meets The Two Liars Tour,’ Arnold, Bill, and John plan to have a cast of perhaps twenty or so co-performers, oddly enough most are ex-Hooters girls and have little in common about family values other than they might have grown up in a family at one time. Rumors of Bill Clinton joining the tour are almost a certainty, since a gift box of cigars were in plain view on Arnold’s desk with a Presidential insignia on the box.
Teasing Clinton, Arnold and John traded photos of their little bastards and hoped they too would benefit from a good old fashioned dose of Celebrity Family Values.
Feeling ‘left out,’ Jesse Jackson emailed a few photos of his own bastard child that was revealed last year to the public.
Let’s Hear It!