Satire World… Of course it's true….It's the news!

Clint Eastwood’s ‘Dirty Harry Potter’ Sets Box Office Record

by Meagan Hotstuff on 30/05/11 at 5:02 am

Eastwood claims he's waited almost ten years to shoot a Hogwart, whatever that is

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

Claiming a ‘one last tme at bat,’ the 74 year old ‘Dirty’ Harry Potter has come out of retirement and is back on San Francisco’s police force as the city’s premier enforcer of street justice against punks. Famous for his one-liner…’Go Ahead..Make My Day You Hogwart Piece Of Shit,’ Dirty Harry promises to kick everyone’s butt, from street junkies, stupid wizards, to illegal aliens.

Dirty Harry has also brought a more modern version of his famous six-shooter, formerly a Smith & Wesson .44 magnum revolver, to the big screen. This time around Dirty Harry steps into the new Millenium and carries a cleverly disguised, miniature Hornaday mini-gun in caliber 7.62 NATO.

The stationary, shoulder-holster mounted machine gun is capable of firing 3.500 rounds of .30 caliber bullets per minute at the press of a remote controlled button which Potter innocuosly carries as a string of ‘worry beads’ in his left hand.

Carrying such massive fire power has had some moments of terror for criminals, such as the time when a short burst of the weapon cut a racing Toyota in half as two dime-store robbers sought a speedy escape from justice. Another instance was when Dirty Harry shot down a helicopter disguised as a broom carrying a Mexican drug lord who claimed to be a sorcerer.

When Eastwood’s Dirty Harry Potter promises a ‘thrill-a-minute’ and the whole movie actually last for three minutes and has been noted as the shortest feature film ever made.

Eastwood’s reason is future releases of the popular Dirty Harry series and shot 74 future installments at the same time using the same actors, but different story lines. According to Eastwood…”This way no one appears to get older and those viewing the future installments will have a better movie experience.”