Rising Gold Prices Cause Miners To Seek New Sources

by on 31/05/11 at 10:40 am

Fool’s Mountain, Nevada – (SatireWorld.com)

The financial world is going gold crazy once again especially after gold prices have risen by 90% in the past few years, and the gold demand seems unlikely to abate anytime soon.

The world-wide gold shortage has caused miners to look for other ways to extract even the tiniest amounts of gold from sources either overlooked or to reclaim as much gold as possible from unique sources.

Professional miner, Angus Rockcruster, has found a unique way to gather up any stray amounts of gold dust, "I simply swab every miner's nose that comes out of the pit. In two weeks I've reclaimed 1789 troy onces of gold that would have normally went into a wasted booger!"

Fred Shotz, (photo above) a student at UCC Community College, recently plucked a beauty that yielded enough cash to pay for his school tuition. "I was riding in the desert near the mine on my trail bike and inhaled so much dust that when I picked my nose I found a 4 oz nugget.”

Shotz said in a recent interview, “It really amazed my girlfriend when I showed her the gold-encrusted booger.”

Another nugget instance didn’t have such a happy ending for miner Carlos Rios. A poor timed sneeze caused the death of 68 year old Henry McPherson when a flying nugget flew from Rios’ nose hitting McPherson in the temple and killing him.

One Response to “Rising Gold Prices Cause Miners To Seek New Sources”

  1. Jalapenoman

    May 31st, 2011

    Did you hear about the Aggie who pulled a ten pound booger? His head collapsed.

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