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Napolitano & Weiner: Both Big on National Exposure, Only 1 Seeks Help!

by captain america on 15/06/11 at 11:44 am

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Fresh off her commitment to continue a complete disregard of personal privacy using her Pant Suit Pervert Squad, the TSA, aka ‘The Tits & Ass Task Force’ , the amorphous head of Homeland Security, Janet “Booty” Napolitano , released new naked photos of a cross dressing, oiled up Congressman A. Weiner from a recent TSA photo session at Kennedy International Airport.

According to reports, due to his status as an upright Democratic Congressman, A. Weiner was allowed to use a private TSA screening machine as his own photo studio where the congressman took a series of risque pictures of himself in various states of undress for his own amusement, as well as for his personal modeling
portfolio to be used in his on line re erection campaign for congressman, and to promote his wet dream of becoming the Next Mayor of NYC!

The pictures are especially revealing, as these are the first released showing that the Congressman is non partisan purporting that he can go ‘both ways.’ Appearing in a tasteful pair of crotchless red panties,as well as a frilly lace bra in size 32 Double A cup, obviously belonging to his new wife, ‘Huma’ Weiner, the congressman appears coy, while simultaneously proving he is fully engaged, and a hands on type of politician.

An x-ray technician who examined the photos said, ” I’ve looked at them all and I can see what the problem is. The stupid bastard is definitely double jointed, although I wouldn’t blame his continued erection on Arthritis, but more on a deep seated obsession from childhood…he just can’t keep his hands off himself!”

Weiner is said to be on a two week leave of absence on full pay, after which a spokesman from his office said the Congressman expects to be back in his office, ‘working hard for my people in NY, who I love almost as much as my self…and a good ‘ Huma’, of course!

Hugh Hefner issued a press release saying that A. Weiner was only the partial cause for his weekend marriage to be suddenly called off. “If I was only half as stiff as Anthony, the marriage would have gone on per schedule,” said the 87 year old hound dog who said he would continue in his attempt to find ‘true love.’

Napolitano had ‘no comment,’ and dodged reporters as she rushed off to a local tailor in order to have her blown out crotch on her pants suit repaired.

The self described ‘Caped Crusader’