by Bargis Tryhol on 03/07/11 at 4:12 am
Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com)
Surrounded by elite US forces, the Navy SEALS, a confident George W Bush walked out to a bevy of microphones dressed in camo BDU’s and wearing body armor and a pistol proclaiming…. “We killed Bin Laden!”
A 24 +1 member SEAL team landed under cover of darkness and raided the compound located in rural Pakistan. The team had air cover and Predator drone cover as well. No civilians were hurt, nor did any team members suffer casualties. According to first reports, Bin Laden wimpered and ‘cried like a baby’ moments before the fatal shots. Ex-President George W Bush is credited with the kill and proudly posed for the camera holding his assault rifle in one hand and with one foot propped up on Bin Laden’s ventilated head.
According to SatireWorld, the body of Bin Laden was taken by helicopter and dropped unceremoniously into the sea. He was naked, weighted down with chains, and his arms and feet were bound. Some SEALS inserted a Kosher salami from a New York City deli up Osama’s rectum and stuffed a pork tenderloin from Washinghton DC into Bin Laden’s mouth prior to dumping him at sea.
The raid was carried out with precision and surgical-like movement. When asked why Barack Obama didn’t participate and George Bush did, the answer was that ‘W’ knew how to handle himself under stress due in part to his fighter pilot experiences, while Obama wanted nothing to do with ‘icky stuff.’ Plus, since the name ‘Obama’ sounds so close to ‘Osama,’ Barack didn’t want to get hurt by accident.
After breaching the compound walls and kicking in the door, the team found Bin Laden hiding in a woman’s closet partially dressed in a ladies black chandor, crying, and whimpering “it was all just a joke,” he was lead out into the hallway. The SEAL team leader said the puddle of yellow urine seeping under the closet door was the tip off to where he was hiding.
Once in the hallway, a portable music device removed from a backpack. It was loudly playing the ‘Do The Hokey-Pokey’ song as Bin Laden was forced, at gun point, to dance the Hokey-Pokey before a SEAL camera as the special operations people laughed. As his trembling left foot extended for the tenth time he was shot three times in the head at close range.
Bush commented on the Bin Laden compound..”The place was stinky and not very well kept. His wives were, well, dog-butt ugly.”