by captain america on 14/07/11 at 7:12 pmThe White House – (SatireWorld.com)
If sending Churchill’s bust back to England wasn’t enough of an insult, President Obama continued his back handed slaps to the Island Realm by tying the country’s signature dish of ‘Mushy Peas’ into his frustration at Congress’s unwillingness to agree to higher taxes and continued spending in a sophomoric rant against his rivals in a heated press conference.
His nose wrinkled in disgust, the President said it was time for the American Public to
“rip off the bandage, hold your nose, and eat your mushy peas!” adding, “sometimes we all have to do something distasteful which may cause us to gag!”
The uproar from the UK was heard immediately, especially in Yorkshire where Mushy Peas have been called “Yorkshire Caviar” for years to mark the locals’ tight fisted control of their money, and squeaky wallets as well as a place Gordon Ramsay wouldn’t dare venture!
“It’s not right, innit?” said an incensed Yorkie identified only as “Burpee” by his mates in the
corner pub. “Been raised on Mushy Peas since before I was weaned…me mum still laughs telling the story how she had to scrape me nappies filled with the stuff 4 times a day…went right through me it did, in jig time! Still has the same effect today, but it’s really good shite, those mushy peas, awright, keeps me regular!”
While the dish, composed of marrowfat peas, soaked overnight and then simmered with a bit of sugar and salt until it breaks down to a wall paper paste type consistency, is a staple in the UK, especially served as a side dish with the traditional fish and chips, it has not caught on in the Colonies.
“We left that S***t behind us a long time ago,” said 3rd generation scallop dragger Sean Pierce out of Falmouth, Massachusetts. “Don’t misunderstand me, mate, I like me legumes as well as the next man, but there’s no sense in going against nature and creating something as vile as that! Steamed peas …now that’s the natural way to eat
‘em….a little salt and butter on a fresh serving goes good with just about anything, it’s the American way, no sense tempting God and tampering with the natural goodness he sees fit to provide!”
Obama’s ridicule reveals more about himself than he intended, with insiders in the White House saying he positively REFUSES to eat his green peas hand plucked from wife Michelle’s victory garden.
He is said to be partial to mother in law Marion Robinson’s slow cooked collards with a little fat back added, as well as ‘black eyed’ peas which he claims are more politically correct than the little green ones all mushed up and served to slaves when they were shipped to the Colonies from Bristol 300 years ago.
“I don’t think it was fair of the President to be ‘taking the pea’ said Minnesota farmer, Swen Ericksen, President of the Pea Cooperative in Dinkytown, “especially now in a down economy….in fact, telling it plain, I think the President is a ‘pea brain’ for picking on one of our staples that folks can still afford to buy, it just shows his brain is mush!”
You can read more about this story on HoffPoo/AOL which has aggregated it whilst
ignoring current copyright laws and attributing the slight against Mushy Peas to
George Bush….both of them!