by Bargis Tryhol on 26/07/11 at 5:55 amWashington, DC (SatireWorld.com)
In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking national debt relief, and a hopeful boost for the Democratic Presidential election campaign, Barack Obama instructed Treasury officials to initiate a sweeping step by step plan to eliminate the nation’s looming debt payments held by foreign governments, namely China.
Secretary Lew gave reporters details on the amount of Treasury Notes held by the government of China and the ramifications it had on future American financial growth and expansion of the free enterprise markets in this country. He also mentioned his ‘boss’ threatened to shove a size 12 up his butt if he didn’t do something that got him re-elected.
In a plan worked out by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), with Congressional leadership, the National Treasure for Debt Relief Act was passed by a thin Senate vote. Within the plan various national treasures will be traded for debt relief.
Says Pelosi, “So? Big deal right? What are they going to do, move it out of the country?”
The measures instruct the Interior Department to immediately padlock all access to the Grand Canyon National Park in preparation of its transfer to the People Republic of China’s ownership. The deal immediately forgives $3.7 trillion dollars in paper notes held by the Beijing government.
Chang Zing, Chinese Interior Minister, announced today that newly installed toll roads will open, and ticket sales for Canyon viewing will go on sale early next month. Zing promised a whole new look to the once staid park. To prove his pointy, Zing unveiled an artist’s drawing showing gigantic Ferris wheels, roller coasters, and a newly designed grand entrance to the park featuring tee shirt shops, fake designer watch kiosks, and chopsuey restaurants located within walking distance from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. On the most prominent walls of the Canyon, the drawing shows giant renderings of colorful dragons painted in yellows and reds on the natural rock walls, and several huge impressions of Chairman Mao blasted into the red rock walls.
Hoping to spur international travel, Chinese officials are looking into ways to make the park more ‘China-like’ and have ordered 24 giant smog-making machines in order to render the pristine air a gray haze so visiting Chinese citizens will feel more at home when visiting.
Next, according to Obama, will be Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. “Let’s dump it now! All the figures there are dead white guys anyway, and there’s room for Chairman Mao’s face there as well.”