No. Korea’s Kim Jong-Il’s Recent ‘Eddie Van Halen Tribute DVD’ To Be Re-released In Honor Of His Death
by Bargis Tryhol on 19/12/11 at 4:07 pmPeople Democratic Republic of North Korea – (SatireWorld.com)
American singer Marie Osmond had reportedly spent three weeks as the guest of North Korea’s strongman Kim Jong-Il shortly before his death.
According to sources they are both fans of dancing, singing, and various types of popular music, and have made several homemade movies together at the Presidential Palace located in the ‘Hermit Kingdom’s’ capitol, Pyongyang.
Says Osmond of her past dance partner, “Really, he was pretty cute! He wore these cool retro platform shoes, and puffed his hair up so he can be taller! You know, he played the guitar? I watched a DVD where he plays and acts just like Eddie Van Halen!”
Sources have confirmed that Kim Jong lndeed had made an hour long ‘tribute’ DVD where he stars as rocker Eddie Van Halen. In the video he wears a wig, and dresses exactly like the rocker complete with a vintage Gibson guitar. During a concert in Pyongyang lastb year, Kim Jong Il rocked the stadium that contained up to 850,000 party loyalists, who applauded after each rousing rendition of vintage Van Halen. The successful concert was marred by one audience member forgetting to applaude enthusiastically enough, and was singled out, brought to the stage, and promptly shot while Kim Jing Il belted out the opening guitar rifts to ‘Hot For Teacher.’
On the popular DVD, North Korean General Foo Sing Fang, substitutes as rocker David Lee Roth the groups front man. According to Jong Il, the General was sent abroad for massive plastic surgery, hair extensions, full dental work, and guitar lessons. After the album’s release General Fang was shot.
Marie Osmond was later quoted, “The DVD is what turned me on to asking the State Department to invite him to give a try at TV’s Dancing With The Stars. The little guy would’ve loved all the attention.”
North Korean officials announced today that the DVD will be re-released and all proceeds will go to the Peoples Orphanage and Atomic Centerfuge Fund.