by Mark Lowton on 30/07/12 at 7:37 amChicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)
Forty Six. That was the score this weekend in Chicago. 46 shot
(actual puncture wounds) nine dead, Chicago stopped counting graze wounds and only counts actual bullet holes now, you don’t count if you get your nose or ear shot off. Chicago is also a city three quarters of which is unsafe to walk in, referred to locally as “Indian County”.
This is the crowning achievement of our politicians and the social engineers, who long ago decided that big, bad, brutish policemen
were no longer needed. So it came to pass that in the 70′s they started forcing 105lb females into the department. That did away with height and strength requirements. They then decided that the correct rainbow of colors was needed. To accomplish this they lowered the aptitude tests and created hiring quotas. That did away with intelligence and integrity requirements. Of course gays could not be excluded either. The ideal candidate for promotion became a black transvestite with a Spanish surname who had lesbian tendencies.
The weapons were next on their agenda. Blackjacks, zap gloves and
the like were banned, little cans of pepper spray were issued (what a joke). The shotguns were moved from the front seat to the trunk, from the trunk to the radio room and from there just disappeared. New ammunition was issued which was so inadequate it would ricochet off of car windshields. And God help you if you hit someone with your flashlight.
Finally the politicians got rid of the real Policemen. The
Superintendent was fired and they hired an FBI weenie who never worked the street in his life. He, in turn, fired the Commanders who were real Policemen and replaced them with internal affairs weenies and gays and a decent sprinkling of color. Finally they sweetened the retirement pot offering health care to anyone wishing retirement, thus eliminating the last few remaining real Police. The result is a department that is befuddled, cow towed, weak and
totally not feared by the thugs and gang bangers, but oh so
The City has succeeded in ridding itself of the brutish dinosaur
cops of old and has replaced them with little girls and yuppies who wouldn’t know a bad guy if he shit in their face. They also have a 50% increase in homicides this year and dozens of people shot every weekend. There are more people shot each weekend in Chicago than in Baghdad, Kabul or Detroit.
Rejoice oh liberals, you have gotten exactly what you wanted. Hope
you enjoy it!