by Molon Labe on 08/03/13 at 7:54 am
The Peoples Republic of North Korea staged a massive armaments parade down the capitol’s main boulevard with hundreds of curiously ‘yellow’ painted ballistic missles. Marchers carried signs denouncing the ‘running dog imperialists’ as warmongers and a threat to the peaceful citzens of ‘the best country on Earth.’
The People’s Republic Army staged the massive demonstration in honor of ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong-un birthday which includes free food for all citizens and a day off from slave camps. This year, free food vouchers were handed out instead of rice and chicken bones due to a severe shortage of everything except beach sand.
In a 14 hour televised speech that was mandatory for all citizens to view while standing at attention, Dear Leader outlined the current stalemate in the 60 year old Armitice that ended fighting on the Korean penninsula in 1953. Kim Jong-un promised to ‘scorch the Earth’ with a barrage of his nuclear missles if the South and it’s US ally don’t stop calling him names and making fun of his height.
In response to the threat, the US has cut off all shipments of toilet paper, hair gel, 1970s era platform shoes, and gray leisure suits to the north.