by Bargis Tryhol on 01/09/13 at 8:59 amNew York,NY – (SatireWorld.com)
MSNBC reports the first salvo of cruise missles have been fired toward Syria in the opening round of reprisals for last week’s suspected chemical attack against the civilians. The Obama Administration has placed the blame on the Assad regime in Damascus. The limited engagement or as some are calling a ‘Shake ‘n Bake’ attack in the sense that the President promised a wrist-slapping ‘narrow attack’ which will cause minimal damage but hopefully send a meassage to regime leaders that future attacks targeting civilains will not be tolerated.
Last year in a get tough speech, then candidate Obama promised a personal response if his ‘red line in the sand’ were crossed and Syria attmpted to use chemical weapons against civilians or rebel forces fighting in the two year old Syrian civil war. In the months since, critics have confronted the Administration with reports about abuses toward civilains by use of chemical weapons, but Obama refused to budge on the issue until confronted with over 1,400 deaths in a recent gas attack.
Russian leader Putin publically criticized the President over his ‘gutless and ill-focused’ approach to a peaceful solution and dared the Administration to actually carry out it’s promised personal attack against Syria, a decades-old Russian ally.
Aboard the USS Buggerall, a guided missle destroyer stationed in the Red Sea, sailors strapped the President onto a Predator drone, wearing his bicycle helmet, along with a hand held camera linked to an overhead satellite. The bright white drone had the Obama campaign symbol hastily painted on the side along with personal scripts from sailors onboard who wrote messages to the Syrians much like military men have done in past wars on bombs and missles about to be delivered to the enemy….’have a nice trip’…’You keep him!’… ‘Now this is diversity!’…’Free EBT card aboard’…’Blame Bush’…’Next week it’s Jumpin’ Joe!’
At precisely 1600 hours the President left the Buggerall on a rush of crimson flame heading toward a target in Damascus. Vice President Biden was onboard to offer support and cracked a few knock-knock jokes with the crew.