by captain america on 16/03/14 at 6:04 pm
Kabul, Afghanistan – (satireworld.com)
In a surprise move that took Nato forces off guard, Taliban fighters in Afghanistan declared an indefinite ceasefire until Obamacare glitches can be worked out according to a tribal spokesman which have led to all 71 Virgins going on a walk out.
Word came down from heaven, shortly after afternoon prayers, that at least 71 Virgins had gone on strike due to reports that even though they had enrolled, heavenly pharmacies were refusing their Obamacare cards for various birth control preventive measures.
Said Ali-el-Karzai, another relative on the Karzai LLC payroll, “Obama better get this shit straightened out, we’ve got guys who are dying to get up there and get theirs! All that re-erection bull shit that if you want your virgin, you can keep her, even during her Period, is a bunch of crap,eh?”
In an effort to placate the ‘freedom fighters’ and keep his government safe, Hamid Karzai has issued an executive order lowering the marriage age for females to 5, along with a promise of a kilo of ‘blow’ and 3 packs of ‘Zig Zag” rolling papers with an image of Obama on the cover.
Pig and goat futures hit an all time high on the Afghan stock market after the news made it to the mountains and the Taliban fighters came out from under their rocks with erections that have now lasted 4 months and were told when they sought relief, “No…you can’t keep your Urologist, either!”
Harry Reid, on the Senate floor was heard screaming,”they’re all a bunch of lying Muslim Bastards who lie like a prayer rug!”
No word yet if Harry was able to keep his proctologist after receiving an Obama waiver for Congressional A-Holes!