by captain america on 19/03/14 at 6:20 am
Warsaw, Poland – (satireworld.com)
Doubling down on his characterization by Vladimir Putin as a “Prankster’, Barry Obama cemented his legacy by sending VP Joe Biden to Poland along with a bottle of viagra to prove the administration was showing ‘stiff resolve’ as Russia creeps closer to rebuilding the Soviet Union unopposed.
Obama’s choice to send Biden instead of Secretary of State John ‘Lurch’ Kerry, or shadow diplomat Dennis Rodman, indicated that his earlier promise to Ukrainians that ‘if you disarm your military you can keep your Democracy, Period’ was just another inside joke at Poland’s expense and NOT a ‘big F****g Deal’ in the administration’s scheme of things.
Instead, Obama called another news conference along with Kerry, Bill Gates, Bill DeBlasio and Debbie Wasserman Schultz to declare, “Global Warming is the biggest danger we face going forward!”
Kerry used that statement to back up his decision to scrap the Keystone Pipe Line, announce his support of the EPA as they banned all wood stoves during the coldest winter in memory, and issued a Fatwa closing all coal fired energy plants effective immediately since “spring is only a few days away and people will get through this with a little shared sacrifice!”
Wasserman Schultz said she supported the measures, pointing to her hair saying, “I’ve been doing my part, I haven’t used a hair dryer for at least 10 years and saved thousand of kilowatt hours…join me in being a ‘natural air head’ for conservation!”
Editor Bargis Tryhol of SW claimed that Schultz was giving ‘Blow Jobs’ a bad name!
As of press time this afternoon, there has been no comment from the Congressional Black Caucus concerning ‘White Russians taking over the Black Sea!”
The congressional medical clinic said most of the traffic today came from the Caucus seeking relief from alcohol poisoning after a closed happy hour for “Black Irish” held at Rasjad “Paddy” Mohammed’s rib joint hosted by former DC mayor Marion Berry including ‘party favors’ and guest speaker Greg Odom along with Mandela translator Thamsaga Jantjie.
Invited guest and Trayvon Martin fan club President Rachael Jeantel at one point turned to her host Jim Clyburn and whispered, ” you have any idea WTF he be talkin’ about…looks to me that N***a he be flashin’ gang signs!”
More after Biden’s comedy tour moves on to Latvia, Estonia and Liverpool.