Adolph Hitler’s Grand Daughter Ava Gives Birth To Twin Boys In Bonn Hospital

by on 22/05/14 at 5:56 am

Adolph jr (left) and Heinrich pass away their idle hours by goose-stepping and playing cattle-car bingo, says mom Ava.

Adolph jr (left) and Heinrich pass away their idle hours by goose-stepping and playing cattle-car bingo, says mom Ava.

Bonn, Germany – (

Adolf Hitler’s only granddaughter, Ava Gesundheit Braun-Hitler, announced the August birth of twin sons who were delivered in a secret underground bunker beneath Bonn General Hospital. Reportedly the twins were conceived at the Josef Mengele Fertility Clinic in Paz, Bolivia. Both mother and twins are reportedly doing fine. A huge torch light first birthday rally is planned in Munich this August where the twin boys will be attending a military boarding school.

The twin boys are said to love marching to martial music and have showed a keen interest in Polish gaming and other activities, claims Ava, who proudly showed off the twins in their custom made school uniforms.

“Adolph jr loves eating vegetarian and little Heinrich loves a good brisket, claims Ava, who said she’ll continue breast feeding until a surrogate nanny is found that is 100% Aryan, likes black leather, and can pass a background check from security head Barry Himmler jr.

The Rommel Military School of Ballet and Strategic Studies
, located at a converted beer hall in Munich, is a state-of-the-art facility dedicated to the principles of modern warfare and has children as young as five year olds in attendance. The cirriculum includes blitzgrieg tank warfare, dive bombing, Bravarian folk dancing, Wermark ballet, and ethnic purity classes.

Ava says she can hardly wait until their first birthday when her cousin Maddy Mussolini’s two boys can attend a birthday bash planned to be held in Naples, Italy.


In london, Winston Churchill IV, age 7, said he’s looking for a chance to meet the twins in a Bonn sandbox to see, as he so amply put it, “what these two are made of.”

In America, Franklin D. Roosevelt IIV’s mother, says three-year old Franklin’s a tad busy and won’t be able to attend the party in Europe. Ever since he’s had his hair pulled by another toddler while he was sleeping in a Honolulu daycare, he’s been having temper tantrums and had been confined to his room. Honolulu daycare officials downplayed the incident saying it was normal child’s play and they’ve spoken with four-year-old Honda Hirohito’s mother about the sneaky hair-pulling incident. Reports say she’s taken him from school for further disciplinary action at a school in Tokyo.

In Russia, the whereabouts of Josef Stalin IV, age 9, has been a subject of media scrutiny and uncertainy, ever since he murdered his mother, father, his siblings, the complete hospital staff, and several pensioners in a fit of rage over cold soup and stale black bread.

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