President Obama Decrees “ISIS Beheadings Should be Safe, Legal and Rare”

by on 05/09/14 at 6:18 am

COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU! DIY decapitation centers will be springing up around the country as the Obama Administration ptromotes ' headless rights' similar to abortion rights.

COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU!
DIY decapitation centers will be springing up around the country as the Obama Administration promotes it’s ‘headless rights’ campaign similar to abortion rights. Centers will provide visitors with free ISIS flags, disposable black scare-’em gowns, pre-sharpened knives with Damascus steel blades, and a recording in Arabic by birth control icon Sandra Fluke to be played while the deed is being done.

Estonia – (satireworld.com)

Speaking from a NATO conference in this eastern European country, President Obama likened the horrific beheadings seen around the world on social media at the hands of ISIS militants to that of abortions in the United States – the practice should be safe, legal and rare.

Basically admitting there was nothing he could do to stop the beheadings, the President suggested that the two practices share several similarities: Both procedures result in separating the head from the body of the victim, both are heinous acts of violence, and both are conducted in the name of a bizarre religion and/or politics.

Speaking to other world leaders, the President said that if he couldn’t stop the beheadings, they should at least be able to be carried out in a safe environment, and only when the health of a radicalized religion was at risk. “The last thing any of us want to see is ‘back-alley beheadings’,” the President said.

Mr. Obama went on to describe the horrors of the enemy and the group of leaders became visibly uncomfortable. As the President read a letter he received from an ISIS militant who told of having to carry out the beheading of an enemy with a wire coat hanger, all because he was afraid of retaliation if he used a knife and posted the video on social media, several leaders fidgeted in their seats and two of them even excused themselves from the room.

While British Prime Minister David Cameron seems to be taking a hard stance toward the ISIS terrorists, President Obama appeared to be walking back an earlier statement he made where he told Americans, “If you like your head, you can keep your head.”

It remains to be seen whether the President wading into the ‘pro-life’ vs ‘pro-death’ debate in the Middle East will prove helpful or harmful. In the meantime, ISIS savages have vowed to continue the beheadings and have advised enemies they are forbidden from coming within 100 feet of their compounds when they are carrying out the taped execution of someone they deem unnecessary or inconvenient to their freewheeling lifestyle.



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