North Korea’s Kim Jong Un Suddenly Re-Appears…Sees His Shadow…Eight More Months Of Cheesy Propaganda
by Annoying Rash on 14/10/14 at 7:08 am
North Korea – (satireworld.com)
North Korean Leader-for-Life Kim Jong Un made his first public appearance in five weeks. The official state media reported Tuesday that Jong Un was in splendid health and swam in frigid water for almost 25 miles, climbed 12,000 foot Mt. Un Lin by himself, then bedded 12 prostitutes to prove his healthiness. This surprise announcement ended an absence that drove a frenzy of global speculation that something was wrong with the country’s most powerful person.
The resumption of his ‘checking on the workers’ tours that had been a regular part of Kim’s public persona before he stopped showing up in media reports for 40 days. His sudden return allows the country’s massive propaganda apparatus to resume promoting Jong Un as a true man of the people
Kim, shown in the North’s leading newspaper smiling and walking with a cane, reportedly saw his shadow and immediately ordered cameras to record the event. The next day the image was show on NK-TV and in the only state-owned newspaper. Before Tuesday’s dispatch, Kim had last been seen in the media at a Sept. 3 concert. Then, nothing.
Kim’s ability to command attention by doing nothing says a lot about the North’s propaganda focus on Kim as the center of everything. Remove for him from sight for 40 days and the planet around which that propaganda spins and the international media is mesmerized with speculation.
While there was plenty of information from experts that claimed it probably wasn’t anything that serious, there seemed to be even more vague speculation as time went on.
Kim was reported to be suffering from plebitis, cancer, diabetes, from a brain hemorrhage, from a heart ailment, from a festering leg injury that required surgery from a French doctor, from mental illness, from gout, or according to a head-turning British report, from a severe case of Asian Cooties.
Meanwhile, the North Korean press is reporting that Kim will be riding on a Long Dong rocket that will attempt to land on the lunar surface. Reportedly, Kim will plant a North Korean flag and leave a fully manned Jin Chong class nuclear submarine on the Moon’s surface as an official North Korean base camp. The North Korean press also said that advanced rockets will be cloud-seeding the Moon in order to give the nuclear submarine sufficent water to manuever.