Obama Blames “Icelandic Tourism” for Climate Change

by on 22/02/15 at 6:29 am

Icelanders got their revenge by tricking Al Gore into jumping into a fake hot tub filled with glacial runoff. The frigid water froze him solid in about 2 minutes. Says inn keeper Helmut Saargard, "He's not all that smart. Some of te kids told him the tub was filled with Unicorn tears and would give him eternal youth. What a whoosh!" Villagers say they'll drag him into the sun around the end of June.

Icelanders got their revenge by tricking Al Gore into blindly jumping in a ‘not-so-hot’ hot tub filled with glacial runoff. The frigid water froze Gore solid in about 2 minutes. Says inn keeper Helmut Saargard, “He’s not all that swift. Some of the kids actually told him the tub was filled with Unicorn tears and would give him eternal youth. What a whoosh!”
Villagers say they’ll drag him into the sun around the end of June.

Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced that President Obama will hold a press conference in the White House Rose Garden to explain the problems his administration will be facing in the last two years of his presidency. Paramount will be a new theory of Global Warming/Climate Change that explains why the temperature is only 3 degrees Fahrenheit in the city.

President Obama will be joined in the Rose Garden by First Lady Michelle Obama, National Security Advisor Susan Rice, Senior White House Advisor Valerie Jarrett and State Department Spokeswomen Marie Harf. There’s no health problem as none of the participants, except maybe the Secret Service agents, have anything to freeze off!

President Obama will say that “the only thing we have to fear is Global Warming/Climate Change.” Other foreign and domestic problems such as ISIS, job creation, illegal immigrant amnesty, the economy and energy generation pale in comparison to Global Warming/Climate Change.

President Obama will cite a cell phone call he received from former Democratic Vice President Al Gore, currently vacationing in Iceland and warming his globes in a hot spring pool of naturally heated water. Mr. Gore stated it was “Icelandic Tourism” that is causing the low temperatures in the USA. When all these warm naked people leave the pools and SPAs, the heat rises above the land mass. This added heat causes the Northern Hemisphere (Arctic) Polar Vortex low pressure center (located near Baffin Island Canada) frigid air flowing west to deviate slightly more to the east, covering both Canada and the USA. The call was cut short with a psazzt when Mr. Gore dropped his cell phone into the water.

President Obama will also ask the American people to do their part to fight Global Warming/Climate Change caused by “Icelandic Tourism” via doing simple things like: eating ice cream, cold gazpacho soup and other cold foods; turning off heating systems and putting ice cubes on front lawns; taking cold showers, avoiding hot and sexy partners; and not getting hot under the collar.

President Obama will end with, “I” bless the United States of America and good night.

In other news, the Iceland Ambassador to the US filed a diplomatic complaint with US Secretary of State John Kerry about tiny Iceland being blamed as the cause of this fictitious Global Warming/Climate Change nonsense!



One Response to “Obama Blames “Icelandic Tourism” for Climate Change”

  1. Bargis

    Feb 22nd, 2015

    good one!

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