US-Iran Nuke Deal Sealed With Firm ‘Pinkie-Promise’

by on 27/03/15 at 6:57 am

The Ayatollah Ali Kamernei later told followers that he crossed his fingers with the other hand behind his back.

The Ayatollah Ali Kamernei later told followers that he secretly crossed his fingers with the other hand behind his back when no one was looking.

Done deal!  The Ayatollah and John Kerry seal the nuke deal with a firm pinkie promise.

Done deal!
The Ayatollah Kamernei and John Kerry seal the nuke deal with a firm pinkie promise.

Lucerne, Switzerland – (satireworld.com)

After weeks of give and take, with Iran getting most of the take, the historic Iran-US nuclear deal seems to be coming to and end with Iran getting about 90% of what they wanted and the US getting just getting a deal, any deal, with lingering hopes to give some type of legacy to the floundering Obama Administration’s final days before the 2016 election-media storm.

“The United States is considering letting Tehran run hundreds of centrifuges at a secret, fortified underground bunkers in exchange for limits on centrifuge work and research and development at other sites, un-named officials have told Satireworld’s reporter Harold Worth.”

The un-named source explains that “the trade-off would allow Iran to run several hundred of the devices at secret mosques, hospitals, and selected elementary schools scattered around Iran, although the Iranians would not be allowed to do work that could lead to an atomic bomb and the sites would be subject to international inspections but only if they can positively identify the site because of the state secrecy.”

Experts tactfully described the latest concession to Iran as “problematic,” because “it would allow Iran to keep intact technology that could be quickly repurposed for uranium enrichment at a sensitive facility that the U.S. and its allies originally wanted stripped of all such machines (centrifuges that can spin uranium gas into uses ranging from reactor fuel to weapons-grade material).

Secretary of State John Kerry denied any future problems developing and said, ‘he had a solemn binding pinkie-promise from the Ayatollah himself sealing the deal.’

Iran will be doing that spinning in a fortified bunker, as well as, schools, mosques, and hospitals virtually impervious to air attack. No one seems interested in asking Iran why they’d need such facilities to house part of a program for the entirely peaceful production of nuclear energy for civilian customers, which they have always claimed is the goal of their nuclear program.

Iran is pushing hard against concessions from Team Obama, with Kerry’s team giving up ground at every instance. Obama’s haste to secure a deal (any deal) is being met with smirks, laughter, and rudeness from the Iranian negotiating team who often watch movies on their iPads and play Candy Crush on their cell phones during negotiations.

According to a US observer close to the negotiations, “the Iranians insult him (Obama) at will, dismiss any concession that would seriously hinder their nuclear program, and answer each new Obama capitulation with a fresh set of new demands. In fact, the Iranian Grand Ayatollah took part in a ‘Death To America’ rally just this past week where he painted horns and fangs on a photo of Obama.”

Sources say the final straw which caused the American team to grant major concessions was the Iranian demand Obama personally abstain from golf and the First Lady stop flying on Air Force One vacations until January 2017.



One Response to “US-Iran Nuke Deal Sealed With Firm ‘Pinkie-Promise’”

  1. Walter Bucket

    Mar 27th, 2015

    How can you trust a man with a pinkie-promise who has already broken 3 double-dog dares and 7 cross my heart and hope to dies?

    Have them cross their other ‘pinkies’!

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