by E. Williams on 23/06/15 at 5:37 am
VATICAN CITY – (satireworld.com)
Pope Francis, the world’s new leading expert on climate change and its causes, issued a 184-page encyclical this week outlining what changes must occur to save the planet from certain doom. Ironically, the Pope said the church has been barking up the wrong tree for centuries – trying to defeat evil and the devil instead of dealing with climate change head on.
The Pope issued his proclamation saying there must be a cap on emissions from furnaces used to burn and destroy the bodies of aborted babies. The issue is a complex one for liberals who are thrilled with the Pope’s new embrace of their religion, climate change, but it creates a bit of a problem when trying to square the practice of killing babies and throwing their bodies into furnaces for disposal.
Putting more value on nature than human life, progressives say nothing will satiate their thirst for killing babies and that some middle ground must be reached with the Pope. For his part, the Pope acknowledges that if he can’t stop mainstream Catholics like Nancy Pelosi from killing babies then the least he can do is insist they dispose of the murdered children in a more environmentally friendly way. There is also much discussion in liberal circles about who has the ultimate authority, the Pope or the EPA?
The Pope says he would like for Planned Parenthood and other abortion clinics to cut furnace emissions by 40% by 2025 and to cut the number of abortions by 70% in the same time frame. Progressives just laughed at that last part.