by Ali Baba on 25/08/15 at 9:20 am
Mosul, Iraq – (satireworld.com)
The depraved terrorists of Islamic State (ISIS) reportedly are planning to stone to death all married men and women death who have subscribed to the adultery site Ashley Madison. The announcement was broadcast today from the Iraqi city of Mosul during a regular ISIS news show. In the past the ISIS Supreme Council has stoned men and women to death for allegedly having an extra-marital affair.
According to Basir Al Fadi, the Sharia court of the ISIS group will bring any the man or woman convicted of using the adultery based site to the nearest to the town square and people will be asked to stone them to death because they are adulterers. “We will supply big stones crafted by our own stone masons,” claims Basir who’s own family business is stone cutting and cement transportation.
Recent images shared on social media show an Isis judge announcing the punishment, while stones can be seen neatly stacked up on the road. Photographs taken after the stoning show the dead victims covered in blood, lying on the road with a sign showing the Ashley Madison company logo.
Ashley Madison is a Canadian-based subscriber site that helps horny married men and women find secret hook-ups around the globe. In recent weeks the site was hacked and all subscriber’s names and personal information was published by the hackers.
There is no information on whether any man serving in the ISIS military arm, who many civilians were forced to have an affair with, were to be stoned to death for their crimes, but sources say they have a special Adultery Free Card they keep in their possession at all times.
However, on Tuesday, the ISIS executed a homosexual by throwing him off a building’s roof in Mosul claiming his defense was he ‘signed onto the wrong website by accident.’ It is further proof that ISIS actively monitors social websites for evildoers.
The ISIS Command took over Mosul in June 2014 and since then the terror outfit has imposed its own interpretation of Sharia law in the second largest Iraqi city. Enforcing strict protocol on masturbation, pornography, adultery, X-rated movies, and all Michael Jackson tapes and movies citing ‘an unusual sexual perversion.’
Basir Al Fadi, who serves on the ISIS Adultery Judgement Committee, says finding and punishing all 33 million Ashley Madison subscribers will be a difficult task but places his trust in a higher authority. An aide, who begged to remain anonymous, said Al Fadi was full of goat crap and he would have an affair with anything remotely having a pulse or warm skin… married or not!