Airport TSA Says Security Improves With New X-Ray Vision Glasses

by on 27/04/16 at 8:31 am

Sharp-eyed TSA agents in Atlanta using their new X-ray Vision glasses spotted Mel Hobbs who claimed he was just fired from his sales job at Coca Cola moments before boarding a flight back to Seattle. Agents requested he remove the contraband.

Sharp-eyed TSA agents in Atlanta using their new X-ray Vision glasses spotted Mel Hobbs who claimed he was just fired from his sales job at Coca Cola moments before boarding a flight back to Seattle. Agents requested he remove the contraband.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

The TSA announced a new weapon in the fight against international terrorism. Starting this week,all agents will be issued a set of X-ray vision glasses as part of an overall upgrade approved by Congress and a grant from DC Comics.

The glasses, once thought to be an inferior item found in the classifieds of comic books and magazines, attracted the attention of Homeland Security purchasing agents who claim they are ‘always on the lookout’ for new security items and other stupid ways to waste taxpayers money.
Bought with a generous grant from the comic book leader, DC Copmics, the x-ray glasses cost the government $1.98 each, plus 2 box tops from a box of Wheaties. Each pair also includes a ‘secret’ decoder ring and brass TSA badge.

Homeland Security chief, Jeh Johnson gladly demonstrated a pair by peering at a group of French college students arriving at Logan Airport. He passed the glasses around so everyone could see the latest in European underwear fashion.
The immediate results were mixed since most TSA agents were too busy checking out each other to pay much attention to airline patrons.



One Response to “Airport TSA Says Security Improves With New X-Ray Vision Glasses”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Apr 27th, 2016

    The x-ray glasses have since been recalled by the TSA.

    It was discovered that when FLOTUS, Valerie Jarrett, Susan Rice and Hillary were observed walking together, one of them was a transgender female!

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