Manila Philippines Mayor Claims City’s 100% Gay Milestone Has Been Achieved in 2016

by on 25/09/16 at 6:25 am

Santa and Pukitina recently visited the Hershey Highway in downtown Manila.

Santa and Pukitina celebrate after visiting the Hershey Highway in downtown Manila.

Toa Mendes says he's been gay since 2003. Mendes says he used a large potato stuffed down his trousers to lure in men for dates but discovered several years later he attracted more men by placing it in front.

Toa Mendes says he’s been gay since 2003. Mendes says he used a large potato stuffed down his trousers to lure in men for dates but discovered several years later he attracted more men by placing it in front.

Homosexual farmers are common today with heterosexuals waning in most Luzon provinces.

Homosexual farmers are common today with heterosexuals waning in most Luzon provinces.

Manila resident Pukitina Bayagbag  who claims he's a 'gay vending machine' hoping to land a lucrative city contract  and licenseto operate in city hall's cafeteria .

Manila resident Pukitina Bayagbag who claims he’s a ‘gay vending machine’ hopes to land a lucrative city contract and vending machine license to operate in city hall’s cafeteria .

Manila was once considered a top gay destination as the city's cruising scene and adult bars were considered unique and colorful. PHOTO: Gay man cruising for a date near Jones Bridge.

IN 1998 Manila was once considered a top gay destination for world adventurers as the city’s cruising scene and adult bars were considered unique and colorful.
PHOTO: Gay man cruising for a date near Jones Bridge in 2016.

Manila, Philippines – (SatireWorld.com)

The Manila City Council held a prime time news conference to announce some good news for the city by the bay inhabitants…We’re 100% Gay Now! The anticipated goal of a fully gay Asian city was reached January of 2016.

The last registered straight person moved on on January 30th, leaving the city to the long awaited milestone of having a major Asian metropolitan area revert to a 100% homosexual population.

Gay mayor Rufina Patis displayed a photo of the last man heading out across the Ayala bridge pulling a suitcase. Gay Police Commissioner Santa Santita, promised that from now on all profiling pull overs will cease.

“After all, if we’re all gay, who really cares!”

But there is a drawback being the only 100% gay community when it comes to equal rights…No longer will sexual preference hiring quotas be maintained since there is no longer a minority left in the city. This is causing problems for many residents like Cufradia Buenacamino who for years wore a dress to work hoping to be included with the transgender crowd.

Buenacamino protested by saying, “I clean old sploogie shots off adult glory hole booths every night. If I have to compete fairly now with other applicants I could lose my job!”

The city hospital director Jan Esuivel, MD, who is also a lesbian, says the city will save millions by tearing down the maternity section of the city’s hospital.

Jumping on the boon to fiscal savings by being gay bandwagon, Public Works Director Pey Poontang claims the city and citizens will also save on constructions costs in the future.

“Since no one will have to come out of the closet anymore, we can delete all closet requirements from city zoning laws,” claims Poontang.

Pukitina Bayagbag is very glad as well. Bayagbag age 26, who dresses as a ‘gay vending machine,’ claims the recent 100% gay achievement means he’ll finally get his vending machine permit sticker from an all gay city hall.



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