Tramp Junior Is Putin’s Daughter Says Russian Deep Throat

by on 10/07/17 at 2:04 pm

Chuck Shumer gets caught a second time in as many days sneaking a peek down a colleague's cleavage

Chuck Shumer gets caught a second time in as many days sneaking a peek down a colleague’s cleavage

Moscow – (SatireWorld.com) According to laryngologists at Moscow’s famous Rear, Nose & Throat Hospital flaxen-heired Ms Junior has tested positive following analysis of intimate swabs. The news comes amid rising US-Russian tensions about KGB interference in 2016’s presidential troll. Uh, poll.

“We probed her mitochondrial data,” hospital professor of swabology Dr Ivan Pissov commented, “including double-membrane stuff typical of eukaryotic organisms; Ms Junior sure packs a mean genome if you know where to look.”

It’s not the first time such eukerotic orgasms have featured in the transatlantic controversy miring relations between the superpower states.

Last year a number of the presidential daughter’s horny siblings were discovered at a Chinese laundry behind the Russian legation in a dawn swoop of suspected foreign trolls. US politicians investigating corruption are said to be on the case.

According to SatireWorld reporters’ documents subpoenaed by a Congressional Committee ‘FBI nano-drone swarms successfully harvested secret Long Island-based compounds’ for data on illicit Russian pollination of potential mates.

“You can blame your Senator Schmuck Chooma for the controversy,” a visibly disgruntled Dr Pissov added, “for calling out Ms Junior as the Feds’ top Queen Bee suspect.”

An update follows after the six o’clock news.



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