Exclusive: More Vatican Woes As Pope Goes To Mount Olive and Takes A hit By Popeye

by on 28/08/18 at 4:43 pm

Aides say the Pope forgave Mr. Morgan but the Pope was visibly angry.

Aides say the Pope forgave Mr. Morgan but the Pope was visibly angry.

Bar patrons admit that when Popeye Morgan isn't drunk he's pretty much an asshole.

Bar patrons admit that when Popeye Morgan isn’t drunk he’s pretty much an asshole.

Vatican City -(SatireWorld.com)

In an effort to quell demands for his resignation from Vatican leaders, Pope Francis left Rome on Monday to travel to the US to visit shrines and diocese leaders. He hoped to stop at various religious landmarks he hadn't officially visited as Pope in previous US visits in an effort to shore up US solidarity after sex scandals have rocked the Church.

First on his itinerary was a visit to northern New Jersey near the New Jersey, New York border. It would be his holiness' first visit to New Jersey and his seventh trip abroad since ascending to the Papacy in 2012.

The destination, Mount Olive New Jersey, is a center for local New Jersey-New York Catholic populations and the area showcases two unique cathedrals. Pope Francis decided to visit the Mount Olive Cathedral on Tuesday and to celebrate the daily mass personally. Thousands were expected to view the one-time visit by the 70 year Pontiff.

John 'Popeye' Morgan wanted to witness the Pope's historic visit too, but after leaving O'Shay's Bar and Grill after a night of celebrating St. Paddy’s day, he was better suited for a strong cup of coffee and a free taxi ride home.

The hapless Morgan decided to drive his new Chevrolet Caprice to the downtown event, leaving both common sense and the better advice of his friends back at O'Shays.

Two blocks from the cathedral, a very much distracted Popeye Morgan steered his car into traffic and accidentally ran into the back of the slow moving Pope-Mobile carrying Pope Francis. Glass shattered, and the Pope took a spill, but his Holiness narrowly escaped death by the hands of an ardent, but very drunk admirer.

Needless to say, the Pope did not get to Mount Olive.

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