Turkish Cleric Warns About Masturbation

by on 15/09/18 at 8:58 am

Turkish cleric Mucahid Cihad Han says masturbation can get your hands pregnant so he advises having someone else give you a hand job or just wear rubber gloves.

Turkish cleric Mucahid Cihad Han says masturbation can get your hands pregnant so he advises having someone else give you a hand job or just wear rubber gloves.

Cleric  Abu Mohammed had his hands amputated so he couldn't 'pleasure himself'

Cleric Abu Mohammed had his hands amputated so he couldn’t ‘pleasure himself’

Istanbul, Turkey – (satireworld.com)

A Muslim cleric has warned that men who pleasure themselves could make their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

Turkey’s Hürriyet Daily News reports that Mucahid Cihad Han made the comments on a live TV broadcast after a married man called his show to say he could not stop masturbating, even on a holy pilgrimage to Mecca and even while circling the Kaaba and keeping his hands hidden under his white robe.

Han responded that masturbation was a sin in Islam. He added:

“Moreover, one hadith states (teachings of Mohammed outside of the Koran) that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights.”

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now after he’s been choking the chicken?”

The self-styled Muslim televangelist advised the viewer to “resist Satan’s temptations” and keep to his hands where people can see them, and by all means refrain from making his Iman’s lunch afterward!

The masturbation issue is controversial in Islam as there are varying opinions on how permissible masturbation can be. The Koran has no clear reference to the act and many hadiths (teachings of Mohammed outside of the Koran) are of questionable authenticity. Some scholars are saying Mohammed masturbated with Syrian cactus leaves in an effort to keep his wits about him.’ Others say Mohammed paid underlings to masturbate him openly while he preached in his tent.

Few Islamic scholars consider it “haram” (forbidden), with most considering it “makruh” (disliked or offensive). Some even say it is permissible in certain circumstances, such as avoiding temptation to commit adultery, when your goats are away, or when a ravishing 9 year old girl isn’t readily available for your pleasure.

Han later admitted that he often masturbated with his hands but later came down with the clap and stopped.



One Response to “Turkish Cleric Warns About Masturbation”

  1. Jalapenoman

    Sep 15th, 2018

    I thought most of them just found a sheep or a little boy when they had the urge.

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