by captain america on 19/01/11 at 11:58 am
Washington, DC (satireworld.com)
Michelle Obama continued her assault on America’s eating habits today when she came out backing a recent UK ruling in Manchester which ordered a hard working shop owner to stop cooking bacon, the smell of which ‘sickened’ her Muslim Neighbor.
Investigators said the exhaust fan in the kitchen of the shop which was open from early morning to mid day, was causing ‘migraines’ to the owner of the bomb making factory next door, and said it was the odour of cooking bacon, and not the 2 tons of agricultural fertilizer the neighbor had in his basement used in his advocation that was causing the ailment.
The hardworking owner of the breakfast shop, along with her husband who is a muslim himself, said the shop had been operating for over 8 years, the last 3 under their ownership, and had never had a complaint, and in fact had many muslim customers who stopped by for a ‘toasted cheese sandwich.’
Meanwhile, Michelle continues her mission of mandating a proper diet for school children, some of whom already receive THREE (3) meals a day courtesy of the US taxpayer because their parents simply can’t be bothered or are too stoned to push a button on a microwave for the mac ‘n cheese.
School menu planners received a White House Fatwa Memo today confirming that Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato (BLT) sandwiches were no longer to be served in cafeterias throughout the land.
In the memo Michelle Outlined the reasoning for he ban:
*The smell of cooking bacon is offensive to muslims and must be banned
*Lettuce, Tomato & Mayo sandwiches are allowed, but not on WHITE bread
*Lamb Kabobs, provided that the lamb is ritually slaughtered (see throat slitting training film from Al Qaeda) will replace the traditional BLT effective immediately
The insertion of “Pork” in the Federal Budget has been granted a waiver and since it smells like money & votes, is not banned unless favoured by Racist Tea Party Conservative Advocates.
Emboldened by the edict, UK & US Militant Muslims have now taken on Christians claiming “They Really, Really Stink And Should be Stoned!”
US Congressman Barney Frank,(Gay, D, MA) while backing Michelle’s new initiative at a town hall meeting, was hounded off the stage by FED UP constituents with signs proclaiming, “Bite ME Barney…I’m Kosher!”