by Jalapenoman on 19/10/14 at 5:45 am
Nashville, Tenn – (satireworld.com)
One man was recently gored by a bull in the annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain. The injury was to the buttocks and the man will be okay after minor stitches and recovery.
After hearing of the injury, former U.S. Vice President, Senator from Tennessee, and presidential candidate Al Gore was slightly upset. “Why do they call it being GORED? It gives the whole experience a bad connotation.”
“Why is it that if you say a man got Bush, everyone thinks he got lucky and scored? If you say a man got gored, everyone wants to know where and how bad the injury was.”
“Gore is also synonymous with movie blood and guts and other gross-out kind of stuff. I just hate it!”
“Don’t get me wrong, I do feel sorry for the guy for getting a horn shoved in his ass, but come on! We really need to call this something else!”
As the former Vice President thinks that his last name has a negative reference, we offer some new possible definitions for being Gored:
1. To be Gored: to be caught by the police with marijuana and other drugs in your possession without a prescription.
2. To be Gored: To lose an election in a state and whine about the physical condition of all the ballots
3. To be Gored: To have your music cd rated as unsuitable for children because of harsh lyrics (actually named for Tipper Gore).
4. To be Gored: To watch a documentary film that purports to be real and scientifically factual, only to discover that all of the data was manipulated to give the desired results.
5. To be Gored: To claim credit for inventions without any proof, or, to be made fun of for claiming credit for inventions.
6. To be Gored: To be groped by the retired politician in an Oregon hotel while working in your job as a licensed massage therapist.
7. To be Gored: To claim that your grandmother sang you the “Look for the Union Label” song more than a decade before it was ever written.