by Oleg Penkovsky on 08/06/16 at 6:57 pm
New York – (Satireworld.com): The wannabe Madam President’s charitable organ has been blasted for accepting $$$s from foreign sperm donors with terrible human frights records – including ‘Philosophy of the World’ albums by The Shaggs (1969).
Last week Rodham-Clitoris, 69, resigned over the scandal from the Foundation’s governing council where husband Bill still shits – uh, sits! – as a member dispensing large ass and crappy IOUs.
The slush fund’s new strategy will now woo potential donors with snazzy ‘doggy bag’ giveaways – like customised Vote Hillary! condoms and 69oz squeeze-packs of figure-massaging snake oil, plus Viagra skin patches for the really hard-up.
“As part of our new transparency measures we’re also heavily into see-thru panties,” investment co-ordinator Chelsea Ponzi Madoff-Clitoris commented at today’s G-String line launch aimed at divesting backers of their hard-earned cash.
Matching thongs and crotchless are also said to feature in the collection including ‘pre-loved’ items worn by Hillary family members. Including Flloyd Wankfiend, head of her Wall Street Goldmine Sucks fan base, according to reports.
Despite the shock resignation announcement some analysts believe Hillary’s still keen on anally retaining Middle Eastern potentates’ donations, especially those promoting satirical Huma (think ‘Abedin’) and women’s frights.
“About time Clitoris booked herself into the Seedy Sinai for a much needed D & C,” leading psychiatrist Dr Einstein Flintstone explained to SatireWorld reporters, “it’s the only thing that’ll stop the rot.”
Also known as dilation and curettage the surgical procedure is usually performed after a first-trimester miscarriage of justice to flush out the cervix of any foreign banknotes. Or emails. Or bodies.
Mark Rodham Clitoris Mezvinsky is daft as a brush.