BATF Employee Admits Masturbating While On The Job Preparing Illegal Gun Owner Lists

by on 04/08/16 at 7:38 am

Though left un-named, Satireworld was able to get an application photo of the BATF employee that was reported

Though left un-named, Satireworld was able to get an application photo of the BATF employee that was reported doing nasty things in his office cubicle.

The mysdtery employee was later identified as Alan H. Grayson a 36 year old career BATF employee who claims his 'erotic slump' was caused by a breakup of a relationship with his girlfriend lily who later became engaged to an NRA employee.

The un-named employee was later identified as Alan H. Grayson a 36 year old career BATF employee who claims his ‘erotic slump’ was caused by a breakup of a long-term relationship with his girlfriend Lily who later became engaged to an NRA employee in Washington,DC.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

A senior official at the Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco,and Firearms Office of Inspector General testified Wednesday that a a 57 year old career BATF official stored thousands of illegal gun owner records on file on his government computer, and has admitted to watching porn and ‘choking-the-chicken a lot’ while at work, sometimes for most of his day.

At first, investigators were going to pass the investigation onto the Agricultural Department because of the ‘chicken abuse’ claim, but were later informed that ‘chicken choking’ was a slang term often used for masturbation by males who are employed by the BATF and ‘clam spanking’ was the term for female self abusers.

“When an OIG special agent arrived at this employee’s work space to conduct an interview, the special agent witnessed the employee actively viewing pornography while nude and openly masturbating while on his government-issued computer,” Ben Dover, deputy assistant inspector general for Investigations and Prosecutions told the House Oversight & Government Reform Committee.

Subsequently, the employee confessed to spending, on average, between two and six hours per day viewing pornography and masturbating in his corner office with the door wide open while pretending to be at work on his computer compiling names on a gun owner’s data base in violation of Congressional mandated law which forbids any registration system for gun owning civilians.

Dover said the Department of Justice has accepted the OIG’s request to prosecute this official, who Dover did not name because of this ongoing action.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) took the BATF’s director to task for failing to take any steps to fire the porn-watching official.

Chaffetz asked how long the porn viewing has been going on, and the Director said he didn’t know. Chaffetz indicated his understanding was that it has been happening since 2010, and stated, “How can I know and you don’t?”

Chaffetz then asked why the official hasn’t been fired. “Fire him! What’s the question?”
The Director said ‘he was waiting for the OIG’s final report on the employee and didn’t want to embarrass him by terminating him because he was a jerkoff.’

Other senior administration officials at the BATF tried to redeem themselves claiming they supplied the un-named employee with disposable gloves so ‘he wouldn’t contact the AIDS virus while having fun.’ The un-named employee was also banned from the self-service salad bar at the building’s cafeteria, they added, “because it really upset those in line behind him.”

Dover offered several other examples of waste and fraud at the BATF, including one senior BATF official who helped Tyrone Jones defraud the BATF of hundreds of thousands of dollars by not showing up for work for over 6 years. Jones said for years that he worked ‘undercover for the CIA,’ and used that excuse to miss work and get $180,000 in travel vouchers approved, several new guns that were confiscated from innocent citizens, and over $1.5 million in wages while he actually worked at a Sears store in the tire department part-time.

Dover said the senior BATF official who approved these expenditures didn’t conduct the due diligence necessary. Dover said another BATF manager is involved in letting yet another BATF official not report to work for 5 years, at a cost of $500,000 who claimed she was performing ‘BATF business on the space shuttle’ and had her checks electronically deposited into her Chicago bank account.

The hearing was held by the Committee on the same day that the OIG office at BATF released a report saying that BATF Office of Homeland Security is impeding OIG’s investigations because it was caught storing gun owner information that by law was supposed to be destroyed and not part of any data base.

Like other Inspector General offices, the BATF is technically a part of the agency, but is supposed to operate independently in order to root out fraud and waste.



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